I Really Need to Get Better at this...

Ya know...

Going back to the "Folks Who Know Me" routine, well, they know that I am not a fan of writing. I never have been. A likely cause is that I think and talk a hell of a lot faster than I can write or type. I have actually been told that when I slow down and THINK (no Laughing from the GR Theatre people), that I actually do rather well at writing. I am, however, a great analyzer and editor. You maybe be wondering at this exact moment what is the point of this paragraph is, and the point is that I am too lazy and don't update this thing like I should.

It's really funny, the amount of crap I could have written in this Blogger-Journal would be great. Let's see, in the span of a month, I could have written about the Moose becoming a socialist (ya, I know, it scares me too), the title of my next book "The Single Moose, a Guide to Mating...Yourself", followed by the short story "The Heathen Dean's Club: A Story of Theatre and Mass Idiocy", but really, I think my favorite is the work on my next album called "Fuck You, Financial Aid Bitches" (notice it's Bitches, not Beotch, I am doing a Rock Album). I am sure there are more stories to write about, I'll just have to remember them.

Maybe it's times like these I should more seriously delve into song writing. I come up with great ideas, and I do understand how some song writers write when they are pissed. Its so freaking easy to write when in a blind rage, however, in the shower it just comes out "You Fucking Bitch, I hate you, hate you, broke my heart, crushed my soul..." and all that rotten over-done stuff, over-emoted, non-sensical, broken-hearted crap-ola. Not to mention, Death Chords work great for this type of material.

Anyhow, it's late at night, I will get back to you soon!

Stuck in my own personal Mooseville....

PS... In the period of this night, I am reminded, that my luck with women totally and utterly is frustrating... Chuck another awesome chick into the married column... Grr..

Intermission....

Go Pistons go!

Take over for the beguiled and ancient Red Wings...

Feeling better...

Quickie post today...

I NEVER Thought a NEEDLE Could Feel SOOO Good! - ACT I

A Comedy...

Act I, Scene i - Bed 3 Weeks ago...

Ouch, that seems uncomfortable, hmm, hip and back feeling not so good....

Act I, Scene ii - 'The Ride'

HOLY Bat Sh*t Man, I can barely get in the car. This is worse than I thought. Put you right leg in, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh.... Put you left leg in uuuuuuuugggg. Sit down aiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee... (Notice the pattern). Long story short, drove two footed to the Chiropractor.

Act II, Scene i

Later that day - Chiropractor

(Twist that thing that way.... That Seems to get better. Twist this other thing the other way. MARY MOTHER OF GOD....Expletive, Expletive, Expletive...)

Act II, Scene ii - Next Day - Chiropractor

(Twist that that way.... Better. Twist this thing this way... F*CK...)
Captain Crack the Back - "It appears that whatever we are doing (Who the F*ck is this WE THING) is causing more aggravation, but the signs you are giving me, your spine is actually defying gravity in reference to the entirety of your back." Really, me unusual...Who would have thunk? Funny, doesn't one think that I could find much more fun and better ways to defy gravity?

Act II, Scene iii - Next, Next Day - Chiropractor

(Twist that way... Ok. Twist this thing the OTHER WAY ... AHH...Slight relief.)
Captain Crack the Back - Well, you are defying the laws of gravity, but I think we have this on the run.
Moose - (Pain Radiates) Sure... (Limps out of office)

Act II, Scene iv - Next, Next, Next Day - Chiropractor
Moose - Ok Doc, I had to use my cell phone to call my parents from MY BED to land line in their bedroom, this isn't good"
Captain... Wow, no kidding, I thought we had this thing on the run... (Chuckle)
Moose - Ahhh... Nooo... X-RAYs NOW!
Captain... - Yeah, you ain't getting any better.
Moose - Uggg!

ACT II, Scene v - Later - Captain's Office...
Captain - I don't know why those X-ray didn't come out, I hit you with enough stuff to go through a Moose.
Moose - (aside) A Moose, gee go figure, I am as big as a REAL moose now. That's encouraging. AND stuff, radiation is now classified as stuff? Ugggg...
Round 2 X-Rays
Moose - (queasy) Hey Doc, maybe your developer is going bad?
Captain - Hmmm...Perhaps, but I don't think so...
Moose - (Aside) I knew I wasn't a big as a moose!
- Lighting Change -
Captain - No kidding your spine is actually defying gravity.
Moose - Perhaps its two different injuries...
Captain - Maybe...
(Twist that, uuggggg. Twist there, nooooooo! Finally we'll give that a turn.
Moose - Mommieeeeeeeeee...

Act III, Scene i - Next, Next, Next, Next Day - Chiropractor
Captain - How ya feeling?
Moose - (monosyllabic tones, drooling, basic oogah boogah stuff)
Captain - That good?
Moose - Shoot Me (Refer to God smiting the groin and what that can feel like)!
Captain - Maybe you are too inflamed. Anything we are doing, isn't actually doing anything.
Sexy Married Receptionist - Husband, pain, doctor, go there... (I think I heard the part about a husband) ...I'll call and get you and appointment.
Moose - (Suave) Thanks. (Turns, reverts to caveman) Ugggg. (Hobbles out)

Act III, Scene ii - The Medicine Man's Office
Moose - Owwiiiiiiieeeeeee!
The Nurse - You don't look too mobile...
Moose - Ah no...(wince, ouch, yada yada)
The Nurse - Weight 2**. Not bad.
Moose - Damnit I gained 10 lbs being injured. GRRRR... This *bleeping* sucks!
The Nurse - (Taking Blood Pressure) Blood Pressure is up.
Moose - (Rambling on and on about needles begins)

BLACK OUT

I NEVER Thought a NEEDLE Could Feel SOOO Good! - ACT II

The unfinished play, yet the beginning paragraph is amusing. The Moose - 06.07.06

- Alright, anyone who knows me knows that I loath needles; that I neerly go all frantic and panic at the were mention of the evil lil' devices. Yes, the classic signs of panic attacks: the sweating, the light-headedness, the shortness of breath, the clenching of muscles, etc., blah blah blah (Also, having a muscle spasm during an injection or blood withdrawl are both very bad things for obvious reasons. NO ONE ever wants to see their doctor wind-up like he's throwing fast-pitch softball to inject you with something). I can always remember as a child, at the were mention of shot or blood test, it was a bad bad thing. A screaming Moose at any point in time in life is never ever a good thing.